She did not want you.
Accept it.
She wanted herself.
She chose Darkness before your own good-natured self.
That’s fine.
Stop playing with the idea that that is not that.
It is and that is good enough.
You cannot force her to be a different way.
You gave her chances, opened the door, only to feel rejected, mistrusted, disbelieved, misinterpreted & alone.
It happens.
We choose the ego before anyone else, especially when that someone is representing our God-sent traits. If we deny them, we trigger the other one into pain.
She had to face her demons and she preferred to choose those who stayed by her side, those who praised her and consented her. All she had was male friends, and that is a big red flag.
She was so good at wearing a mask for the world.
You saw her. You just did. And that made her be afraid of it.
She did not seem to think anyone else would see her demons….
But you did.
And she chose him- her precious kid rather than choosing you.
She never intended to pick you.
She had put on a façade and you had unveiled that.
Tough luck.
Move on.
There is nothing you can sense that was wrong.
You did your thing, cheered for the ideal, ended up in tears.
Anger, hatred, disappointment, frustration…
Emotions that come back to the way you feel towards yourself.
Because at some stage you wanted to go, to leave her. But in essence you did not want to. You really deeply wanted to be with her but simply knew you couldn't because you were not able to follow God's advice.
Not with her anyways.
Her pain triggered your pain.
No healing could be done then.
I cheer for you- the Divine Masculine in essence.
It is beautiful, it is powerful, it is raw.
Never stop being yourself, because it is in the rawness of your power that you show Who You Are. It is this magic, this beautiful concoction of fire & passion, of hatred and anger that fires your soul’s intimate connection with God.
It is your essence calling you Home.
She was never that for you, because she was not following God either.
The toxic femininity in her was too focused on manipulating the world to get what she wanted- her own thoughts.
Are you done with it yet or will you keep playing the game?
She gossiped to her friends, talked about you behind your back, tried to separate you from her own daughter and son.
She was a liar and a cheater, an excellent dealer.
Dealer of magic but also of pain.
In her self-righteousness of trying to save the world.
Not because she wanted to but because she wanted to be seen as right and higher than the standard guy.
Do you see yourself in the reflection yet?
I hope you do not fall in the trap of becoming her again, because in your pain and passion, the mirror will reverse. You will act the way you criticized her and you will eventually feel what it is when she does not give a damn.
Too engrossed in her own behaviour she was and in living life in her own terms. It was always Her Way Or The Highway, see. She did not want this to be seen though.
She is selfish. Her toxicity penetrated her soul.
Her ego was more powerful than her inner core and she blamed him (you) for her misguided thoughts. Those beliefs and systems that went against God.
It was never you who was to blame except for your aggressive behaviour.
And in the end I know all you ever wanted was to protect her.
Much courage in your journey, beautiful souls.
Reach out if you need help.
I am here.
A.
Live in peace.au on Instagram & Facebook
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